


Departure Delayed

by Hummingbird1759



Series: Discidium [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Bromance, Canon Compliant, Episode Fix-It: s07e25 Endgame (Star Trek: Voyager), Episode: s01e01 Caretaker, Episode: s02e20 Investigations, Episode: s03e03 The Chute, Episode: s03e26 Scorpion, Episode: s05e09 Thirty Days, Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hummingbird1759/pseuds/Hummingbird1759
Summary: Five times Tom Paris didn't have to say goodbye to Harry Kim, and one time when he did.
Relationships: Harry Kim & Tom Paris
Series: Discidium [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2143068
Comments: 19
Kudos: 15





	1. Caretaker

He really shouldn’t interfere. The young ensign, fresh out of the Academy and so green he is fluorescent, is about to get conned by a Ferengi in one of the most obvious cons in existence. Tom should just leave it alone, let Ensign Glow-in-the-Dark get fleeced. It’s the only way he’ll learn, after all.

But.

He knows he’ll be stuck on a ship with Ensign Glow-in-the-Dark for the next few weeks. He knows that if the ensign finds out he had seen the whole thing and watched with amusement, he can forget about ever getting along with the kid, or the kid helping him integrate with the rest of the crew. And Tom _is_ supposed to be turning over a new leaf, after all.

And hell, it’d be nice to have an ally for a change, even if said ally is hopelessly naïve.

So, Tom swoops in. “Hard to believe you can find them on any planet in the system.”

Ensign Glow-in-the-Dark firmly shuts the case, and Tom leads him off towards _Voyager_. With a grin, he asks, “Didn’t they warn you about Ferengi at the Academy?”

Ensign Glow-in-the-Dark grins back, and it’s the best thing that has happened to Tom in a long time.

Tom’s reputation precedes him on _Voyager_ , because of course it does, and it isn’t long before Ensign Glow-in-the-Dark finds out about his past. And of course, the young ensign – _was I ever that young?_ – asks him about it.

 _Shit._ He knew this was coming, but he thought he could have at least a day on board before it occurred. Now that the truth is out, a guy like Ensign Glow-in-the-Dark will never have anything to do with him, too concerned with his own reputation, too worried about currying favor with his superiors. He’ll eject Tom like an overloading warp core and never give him another thought. Tom sighs a bit, and decides to just get it over with.

Tom meets the ensign’s eyes and says, “I'll tell you the truth, Harry. All I had to do was keep my mouth shut and I was home free. But I couldn't. The ghosts of those three dead officers came to me in the middle of the night and taught me the true meaning of Christmas. So, I confessed. Worst mistake I ever made but not my last. After they cashiered me out of Starfleet, I went out looking for a fight and found the Maquis. And on my first assignment, I was caught.”

“It must have been especially tough for you, being the son of an admiral,” Ensign Glow-in-the-Dark says, studying Tom’s face.

Tom’s jaw clenches. “Frankly, I think it was tougher on my father than it was on me. Look, I know those guys told you to stay away from me. And you know what? You ought to listen to them. I'm not exactly a good luck charm.”

 _And this is it_ , Tom thinks, _this is where Ensign Glow-in-the-Dark walks out of my life, never to return. This is where I kick myself for thinking things might be different and I wonder why in the hell I tried to be a nice guy…_

Instead, the young ensign looks him straight in the eye and says, “I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me.”

Well.

Maybe there is more to Harry Kim than Tom realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All dialogue is from Caretaker.


	2. Investigations

Captain Janeway calls him into the Ready Room, and Tom is mystified as to why. He prepares his best _‘I didn’t do it, no really, Captain, I swear,’_ speech, but it isn’t necessary. The captain smiles at him, gestures for him to join her and Tuvok on the couch, and says, “Mr. Paris, have a seat. Mr. Tuvok and I need a favor from you.”

Tom cocks an eyebrow. “Go on.”

Tuvok explains, “We have determined that there is a Kazon spy aboard _Voyager_. This person has been communicating with Seska and conspiring to turn _Voyager_ over to the Kazon-Nistrim. Despite a thorough investigation, we have been unable to ascertain the spy’s identity; therefore, we require the assistance of someone who can infiltrate the Kazon and intercept the spy’s transmissions from their end.”

“And that person needs to be someone who’d have a plausible reason to leave _Voyager_ ,” the captain adds.

“Enter Tom Paris, perpetual malcontent.” Tom deadpans. 

The captain shrugs good-naturedly and says, “I wouldn’t put it quite like that, but you have reasons for animosity towards both the Maquis and Starfleet, and you have much less motivation to return to the Alpha Quadrant than most, so you’re the obvious candidate. Do you accept?”

“You know me, Captain; I can never say no to a dangerous mission,” he replies with his customary brashness.

“Good,” the captain replies, and then she explains her plan.

* * *

The next day, he goes to see the captain in the Ready Room. Handing her a padd, he tells her, “Captain, there’s a letter on here.” 

She raises an eyebrow at him. “A letter?”

He gulps, takes a deep breath and continues, “It’s for Harry, ma’am. In case I don’t come back.”

Anyone else would ask him if he’d like to leave one for his family as well, but Captain Janeway knows him better than that. She steps around the desk to face Tom, and with a slight smile, says, “Mr. Paris, I have every confidence in your success. But,” she drops her voice into what Tom has learned is her don’t-fuck-with-me tone, “In the unlikely event that you do not return, I will see to it that Harry gets your letter.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” he replies softly.

The day finally comes for him to leave _Voyager_ , and he ignores all the dirty looks he receives in the corridor. He walks into the transporter room in civilian clothes and regards the stricken faces of Neelix, Kes, and Harry. _I must have really sold the “Tom detests you all” act if they’re the only ones who showed up to say goodbye._ Poor Harry; he hates doing this to him, not just leaving him behind, but ruining Harry’s image of him. Tom often thinks of Harry as the kid brother he never had, and Harry is the only person on the ship who still sees him as a good role model. Maybe that will change if his mission succeeds. _And if it fails, there won’t be a ship to worry about…_

He goes to shake Harry’s hand, but Harry pulls him in for a hug and Tom pretends it doesn’t break his heart. “Good luck,” Harry whispers. 

“Thank you,” Tom whispers back as he hands Harry his combadge, and then he steps on to the transporter pad, and beams away. He is convinced this is the last time he’ll see _Voyager_.

But it isn’t.

He outs the spy, flees the Kazon, and during the firefight, he tells _Voyager_ to run, the Kazon are too strong, get out of here while you can. Captain Janeway, wonderfully obstinate as always, refuses to leave him behind. Just when his shuttlecraft is about to fly apart, he feels the familiar tickle of the transporter and then he finds himself sprawled on the floor of _Voyager’s_ transporter room, a bit dazed but none the worse for wear.

The letter, with everything he needs Harry to hear, stays unsent.


	3. The Chute

It’s too cliché. “Forget about me, save yourself!” But sometimes clichés are true; plague should be avoided, sleeping dogs should be allowed to lie, and long journeys do begin with one step.

And Harry Kim – respectable, kind, model officer Harry Kim – should not sacrifice his chances at escaping an Akritirian prison for the likes of Tom Paris. Murderer, convicted felon, and eternal fuck-up Thomas Eugene Paris, who will be missed by few people in the Delta Quadrant and exactly no one in the Alpha Quadrant. Even in his clamp-crazed state, Tom understands that.

He says so before Harry tries to disable the forcefield on the chute. Tom watches him depart and silently prays that Harry gets out, he finds _Voyager_ , and that _Voyager_ is not foolish enough to come back for him. _I’ll probably be dead by the time they get here anyway._ Tom is a lousy medic, but even he knows that stab wound perforated his intestines. That means he has an abdominal infection, which means that if he isn’t already in septic shock, he will be soon, and even Harry’s best efforts won’t get him to a doctor in time. Of the two of them, Harry is the one who has a bright future, Harry is the one who will be missed, Harry is the one who actually wants to get home. Harry is the one who _has_ a home to return to.

Harry, naturally, does not listen when Tom tells him to save himself. In fact, he does the opposite; he fends off half a dozen attackers, while Tom, delirious from pain and fever and the clamp, lies curled up on the ground. _What the fuck are you doing, you stupidass motherfucker?!? We both fucking know I’m not worth it._ Tom is absolutely positive that Harry will wind up lying next to him broken and bloody – but if he’s lucky, still breathing – within about five seconds. 

But he doesn’t.

Instead, Captain Janeway and Tuvok pounce in to rescue them and with Neelix’s help, spirit them back to _Voyager_ for medical attention and a much-needed shower.

After they’re released from sickbay, Tom puts his arm around Harry and starts planning the fantastic dinner they’re going to have. Harry interrupts, looks up at him like a wounded bird and tells him that he nearly killed him. “Don’t you remember?”

Tom isn’t sure if his heart is melting or shattering. _Even prison couldn’t change how good you are._ “You want to know what I remember? Someone saying, ‘this man is my friend. Nobody touches him.’ I'll remember that for a long time.”

At this, Harry finally smiles, and Tom feels like he’s just saved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue is from "The Chute."


	4. Scorpion

He never thought he’d say this, but this is worse than the Borg. At least the Borg would be quick about it. Harry’s been in sickbay two days – maybe three? Tom can’t keep track anymore; no one’s gotten any sleep on this ship in a long time. Harry is somehow still hanging on, which both gives Tom hope and makes his heart play a symphony of pain.

Tom’s always been a tactile person, especially with Harry, but the Doctor won’t let him past the forcefield; too risky. All he can do is stand three feet away and watch as Species 8472 meticulously consumes his best friend. _The Doc can’t even sedate him…_

“Har, you’ve got to get better. The Delaney sisters won’t go out with me if you’re not there,” he says in a lame attempt at humor. In a more serious tone, he adds, “Sandrine misses you. So does B’Elanna. And Neelix. And Chakotay. And everyone else.”

He swallows hard and peeks over his shoulders. The Doctor is still in his office and Kes is nowhere to be seen. “Especially me. I need you, Har. The Bridge isn’t the same without you.”

As he takes a ragged breath, he hears his father telling him, _‘Boys don’t cry.’_ Despite himself, he straightens his spine and does his best to dislodge the tears welling up in his eyes. In a voice that he hopes is just loud enough for Harry to hear, says, “I’m not the same without you.”

Tom leans on the bulkhead for a long moment, silently willing Harry to get up and tell him to stop blubbering, that everything’s going to be fine. _That Harry Kim optimism is still in there somewhere. It has to be._

But instead of an optimistic ensign, Tom hears a cantankerous doctor. “Mr. Paris! Mr. Kim needs to rest if he’s to have any hope of recovery. And furthermore, I would think the ship’s pilot has more important duties right now.”

“All right, Doc, I’m going,” Tom grumbles. He tells Harry that he’ll be back, even though he’s convinced that Harry will be dead by the time he has a chance to return – _if_ he has a chance to return.

However, The Doctor is more skilled than Tom thought, and _Voyager_ is luckier than he suspected. Two days later, Harry bounds back onto the Bridge with a megawatt grin. 

The only person smiling more brightly is Tom.


	5. Thirty Days

Tom knows this is a bad idea, but that kind of knowledge has never stopped him before. He can’t sit idly by while Riga’s people destroy the ocean – destroy _themselves_ – Captain Janeway and Starfleet be damned.

He finds the letter he wrote for Harry when he went aboard the Talaxian convoy two years ago, and then places it on the center of the desk in his quarters. If he doesn’t come back, Harry will surely find it. He has very little time before Riga leaves _Voyager_ , so he can’t leave anything for B’Elanna. He hopes she understands; if he comes back, he’ll make sure that next time, there’ll be a letter for her too.

As he sneaks the Delta Flyer out of the shuttle bay, he sees the last four years flash in front of his eyes. Stopping that Ferengi from conning Harry, getting swept 70,000 light years away, the organ-stealing Vidiians, Seska’s betrayal, rescuing the crew from the planet where she’d marooned them all, the prison, the Borg, Species 8472, the wild shore leaves, even the mundane things like texting Harry on the Bridge or joking with Neelix in the mess hall. _What a ride. If this is where it ends, that’s okay. I’ll go out having done something important._

He hears Janeway threaten to fire on him, and he ignores her. _I’m sorry, Harry. I’m sorry, B’Elanna._

But _Voyager’s_ torpedo doesn’t hit the Delta Flyer, it hits the Flyer’s torpedo. The Moneans apprehend Tom and Riga and the Flyer is tractored back to _Voyager_. Tom, predictably, winds up in solitary confinement; he suspects Riga has met a similar fate. _I'm sorry, Riga._

“You are such an idiot,” Harry lectures him when he gets out of the brig. “The captain was literally going to kill you.”

“I know,” Tom gripes.

Harry softens a bit, and then leans in and says in a low voice, “But off the record, I think you did the right thing.”

Harry’s words feel like sunshine.


	6. McKinley Station

This was the goal, right? To get home?

Well. It was for everyone else. Especially Harry.

But Tom? He never believed they’d really get home, and truth be told, he didn’t care. _Voyager_ felt more like home than Earth ever did. But here they are, walking through the airlock at McKinley Station, a throng of families and Starfleet personnel crowded around. Tom’s father refused to use his admiral status to get on board early; instead, he insisted on meeting Tom at the station’s main plaza like all the other families. Tom guides B’Elanna, carrying three-day-old Miral, through the airlock and scans the crowd. 

Off to his left, he hears a familiar voice call, “Tom!” His head whips over to the sound, and oh, yes, it’s his mother, and his face breaks into a grin and tears sting his eyes. He waves to her, then eases B’Elanna and Miral over. He’s barely past security when his mother hugs him the way she hasn’t since he left for the Academy. He throws his arms around her and clings tightly.

“I missed you, son. Welcome home,” Julia tells him, weeping unabashedly onto Tom’s shoulder.

He breathes, “Mom. I missed you too.” 

After a beat, he peels away, ushers B’Elanna forward and says, “Mom, this is my wife, B’Elanna… and your new granddaughter, Miral.”

Julia squeals with glee and hugs B’Elanna, then scoops up little Miral, tears of joy still running down her cheeks. She tells B’Elanna how thrilled she is that her boisterous son has settled down and how excited she is to finally have a granddaughter – Kathleen has three boys and Moira has no children. 

And then his father steps out from behind her, and Tom’s breath hitches. Owen envelops Tom in a bear hug and says, “Son, I missed you.”

Tom isn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that. He returns the embrace and tells his father he missed him too.

The elder Paris pulls back slightly, far enough to look Tom in the eyes but close enough to keep his hands clamped on Tom’s biceps. “I read Captain Janeway’s logs… you’re a fine man, son. I’m proud of you.” 

Admiral Owen Paris, the man who spent Tom’s entire childhood telling him that boys don’t cry, has tears rolling down his cheeks. 

“Thank you,” Tom stutters, blinking the tears out of his own eyes.

Tom peers over his shoulder and sees Harry with his family. Harry’s mother and father are taking turns hugging him and fussing over how much taller he looks since he left for Deep Space Nine all those years ago. Harry points to Tom and leads his parents over.

Harry is grinning and his eyes are watering as he says, “Mom, Dad, this is my _Voyager_ family – Tom Paris, B’Elanna Torres, and their daughter, Miral.”

The Parises and the Kims trade pleasantries and promise to meet later on, either at the Paris family home, or for some of Mrs. Kim’s pecan pie that Harry has raved about for years. Admiral Paris and Julia tell the Kims that they can see Harry has brought out a new, gentler side of Tom; the Kims likewise say that Tom has been good for Harry. 

“When he left for Deep Space Nine, Harry looked like a child playing dress-up,” Mrs. Kim explains with a fond smile. “Now he looks like an officer.”

Eventually, it gets late, and everyone needs to go home. Hugs are exchanged all around, Tom and Harry hugging each other last.

Harry’s eyes are brimming as he chokes out, “Tom… I… you’re…”

Tom gives Harry a squeeze and whispers through tears, “I know, Harry. You too.”

Harry squeezes him back, and they hold the embrace just a little longer.

After both too long and not nearly long enough, they finally wrench apart. The Parises head for the shuttle bay, back to San Francisco. The Kims are off to the transporter station and South Carolina.

Tom and Harry share one more glance over their shoulders before they’re out of each other’s sight. Tom suddenly understands that Harry will never again be a turbolift away, never again will meeting up with him be as simple as being in the mess hall at the right time or badgering Chakotay to put them on the same shift. The pranks, the betting pools, the holodeck adventures, the gossip… none of it will ever be the same. They’ll keep in touch, they’ll remain friends – they’ve been through far too much together not to – but from now on, things have irrevocably changed. It’s for the best, or at least that’s what he tells himself.

They’re back home, and he and his father finally have hope for a good relationship. As grateful that he is to have not only survived the last seven years but come out stronger, a part of him wishes he could go back to that day at Deep Space Nine and do it all again.

He bets Harry would say the same.


End file.
